FeaR

i couldnt sleep

every single night sumthing bothers me

i think of stuff i do not understand

of religion

of love

of life

family

frens

of her

i came a cross a blog whereby the owner used his blog as sum1 to tok to

hu talks to the blog like when ur tokin to a fren

i wan sum1 to listen to me

understand me

but i believe that no one will ever understand me fully other then myself

every single night i stayed up thinking

what have i done?

what do i do?

what am i gona do?

past future present

there is hurt in my heart

there is also pain

there is love

n happiness

which do i seek

what do i do?

who will provide me the answer?

who will show me the way?

its like having a car but u duno where to go

a food bazaar but u duno wad to eat

no.... wait

i think this is called insecurity

i'm insecure

but when she gave me a call

n when i heard her voice

i calmed down

i didnt feel like blogging suddenli

n when she mentioned the three words to me

i felt at peace

tears swell in my eyes now

coz i feel the irony

that i am not ready n i know it

but i fear

i am terrified

that if i made her wait too long

will she stop waiting?

will she let me go once n for all?

n neva look back?

this is my nightmare

my one fear

that pushes me to do anitin to hold on to her

i love you.....