so this is how things are.. fate? or my own actions? one thing's for sure i havent learnt my lesson.. it was a shock to me when i woke up yst morning.. my future dimmed.. i could feel it.. my dreams shattered but then i duno even if i had a dream in the 1st place.. dare to dream ehk?? well i've been thinking that i've side-step sumting important which comes with learning a lesson.. which is difficulty.. the difficulty to restrain n discipline myself from things or doings that will effect me badly or to what i have.. everytime i see a difficulty i took a turn.. facing another direction.. so now, things are gona change real bad.. 1st step is to let my dad know aboud it.. 2nd is what to do with regards to what my dad's gona sae.. i have to put aside my friends for now.. its not gona be easy but i feel that i've been complacent towards themm n taking them as an advantage.. i wanted to be independant.. n i still want to n i gotta work for it now n not depend on anibodi n rather let people depend on me.. this was my dream.. independancy.. to be able to stand on my own 2 feet with the weight of the world on the shoulder n yet still be able to walk proudly with my chin up.. dare to dream.. but right now i'm not even a step close to that dream.. it stopped a few years back.. it is time to process it back.. but things are gona be different.. its gona be hard and i can oready imagine.. my 1st counter is my own dad.. i'm afraid and i am scared and i have no one to turn to.. so i'm alone.. i gotta face it now or i declare myself a coward.. this is how things are and they not gona be the same next time.. by then i'll ask myself again.. fate? or my own actions?
P.S. to my friends some of u might and sum of u might not know wads goin.. but please dont pester me on the subject bcoz i will tell u when the time comes.. but for now, maybe we might not meet for awhile.. keyword 'might' coz i'm not reali sure myself..
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