hehe haha hoho

so i didnt blog for a couple of daes

after my rock climibing (RC)

i had strains in my arms

so painful it brought tears to my eyes

like a sharp dagger poking put from the inside of my arms

i couldnt wash my butt man!!!!

i had probs flexing my fingers n doin daily stuff with my own two hands

wearing clothes n stuff

haha

but u noe i was able to learn sum stuff

like if i was doin sumtin n my arms hurt

it means when i'm doin that certain sumtin i'm actually using that part of my arm

n i was able to infer that if i positioned my arms in a certain way n it didnt hurt

it means i'm not using that certain muscle

cool observance ehk?

haha

2 daes later my arms were fine

jus nid to be careful when i do exercise n stuff

i'm that weak n get cramps easily

past few daes i have learnt sum stuff

i didnt go school for lessons but i still lepaked there

i've learned stuff like the natures of the opposite sex

both male n females

everidae i learn certain stuff aboud life

reading others blogs n listening to others problems

for example a while ago i was with my cousin

fifi AKA afiqah

alwaes meet up n talk aboud stuffs

i learned sumtin from her

she said that guys alwaes bastard gals but dun even realise it

that sentence punched me so hard

made me realise

are guys that weak?

this 'guy's nature' thing is like so unfair

n there is one more from shahirah from my school

she said if a guy loves a girl there is no nid for intimacy

n that punched thru me too

n i thought wad i've done

these things that i've learned reali has sum sort of impact on me

i gradually learn n understand them

n i agree with my cousin sister, farhana

i call her kakak nana

she sae that i am still young

that dere are still many things ahead of me

but there is also many things that i wan right now although i noe i can have it later

in the future

had a good talk with her too after ngaji on wed

i slowly understand aboud life

firhan has thought me alot

so has many others

aslam

haris

martha

hamid

these people

the hermanos

the canteen crew

each n everone of them has thought me

how to move on

live life

yet i feel that i havent move on

bcoz i could not help with the guilt i have inside

that i have done things so bad

bein a bastard

backstabbing

n the foremost i didnt realise i was doin it

the things i've done

i havent got over it

so i cannot sae i have moved on

but i am glad i noe now that i have hurt that certain sum1

atleast i noe

i'm hapi with how i am now

i'm glad i went thru all that i had

i feel peace

i could control myself

although lacking discipline

able to close my heart n use my mind

i am hapi.....

"everidae...

is so beautiful...

suddenly....

sudden breeze...."